First Congregational Church of Western SpringsFiled under: Uncategorized
We’re taking our first born, our daughther, our “little girl” away to college tomorrow. This is what we had hoped for right – for her to grow up, be happy, be smart, be faithful and move away from home? Then why do I have a constant lump in my throat and start crying everytime I pass the baby clothes in Target? One of the happiest days of my life was shortly after we brought our youngest baby home from the hospital – I remember walking down our hallway and kissing all of our sleeping babies good-night. Our home was full, our hearts were full, and I couldn’t imagine life being any better than this. And now, tomorrow evening, when we return home from the college drop-off, one of those bedrooms will be empty. Yes, I know, she’ll come home again, but as one of her brothers so wisely pointed out, “things will never be the same.”
I pray for all of our “babies” starting new chapters in their lives this fall. And I pray for all of the parents with lumps in their throats. God Bless us All.
Share your thoughts on sending your children off to college. We’d love some “survivor” tips as well!
UPDATE: Well, the deed is done and we have all survived the big drop-off. The most tender moment was watching Alex tell her little brothers good-bye, and then watching Dave watch Alex walk into the dorm and not wanting to move until she was out of sight. It wasn’t tender having to see me hyper-ventilate after getting in the car to drive home. But, we’ve received our first text and phone call and she sounds good – as long as she is happy, we will all get through this amazing transition. Many of you have shared great stories here as well as via email – keep those stories coming – it always helps to know that we are not alone.
Check out this great article that Ellie Roberts sent me: http://www.usatoday.com/life/columnist/finalword/2010-08-25-final25_ST_N.htm
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Late the night before we took our oldest to college, I found him packing up EVERYTHING in his half of the room in boxes. He shared the bedroom and had been thoughtfully making more space for his brother.The shelves were bare. The top of the dresser was bare. His desk was bare. And me? I was devastated! I cried and shouted and lost what little composure I had been hanging on to, ordering him to put everything back in place. He didn’t understand, but was so unnerved by my reaction, he did just that, restoring half the room to being HIS half. In the weeks that followed, I would go into that room and just sit….remembering, grateful, sad, laughing, crying. Years later he told me that, when he came home for the first time, he, too, was glad to return to HIS half. You will adjust, Meredith, but your son is right. It is never truly the same, and that is a blessing and grief. This is one of the many times in life when we don’t want anything to change and we wouldn’t be happy if it didn’t change…….
Comment by Ellie Roberts August 24, 2010 @ 11:46 amRemember, you are not alone. Some of us have been there. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to reach out. Don’t suppress your emotions. And stay busy!
Comment by Lynn Odgers August 24, 2010 @ 1:47 pmThis is why we worked so hard at raising our kids…
I dropped my oldest off on Saturday. While I’ve had my share of tears, it did feel good to see her so happy. That’s my consolation til I adapt to this new “normal”. Now, why doesn’t she want to call me every day (or hour)?!?!?
Comment by Lori Mitchell August 24, 2010 @ 1:58 pmWe had a small taste of this when Chloe was at camp for 6 weeks this summer! It was a difficult time as we considered the day, in about three years, that you are facing this week. May God be with all of you and may you have peace. You have raised your daughter well, “well done good and faithful servant” is what I recall the scripture says. You are being rewarded with her ability to spread her wings and fly and yet, I understand the sadness you are feeling and I’m sure will only come to understand it more as the years go by. We are with you in thought and prayer. Marv
Comment by Marv Baldwin August 24, 2010 @ 2:01 pmAfter I’d unloaded our first born and all his gear at Iowa State for his freshman year…he went running off across the campus with new-found friends and I drove off in a mental blur, intending to get to highway #80 headed home. But my heart and mind were so far back with him that about an hour later I came to…still driving but on a narrow country road who knows where…..no GPS in those days to tell me where I was or what direction I was going…after finding a small town and situation with the map I got going in the right direction.
And we all survived…last week he turned 50 and has two kids in college himself.
You too will survive and so will she.
Comment by jean schnelle August 24, 2010 @ 2:13 pmI just saw Alex today w/Elizabeth. They both just seemed so ready to start their new adventure! How lucky we were that Kyle and Alex and that large group were friends for 4 years! Good, fun and smart kids!
Kyle has now been “gone” for two weeks at Georgia! I,like you Meredith, cried for what her sister says was days (well maybe?). It’s the little things that I miss like when Brian Williams comes on with the Nightly News and we would watch together and share the stories. However, so far she’s rushed Alpha Gamma Delta, ridden the wrong bus across campus w/her new friends, visited the health center for an upper respitory infection and calls us laughing while telling us stories. We are so relieved she’s so happy! Although I wish she was closer she needs to grow and learn to navigate “life”. The hardest part is not seeing her until the end of October, unless she gets her Dad tickets to a Georgia game (which we understand is a little different than Illinois gamedays!) Take care and comfort and knowing that our girls are strong and will strive to be the best! Never a worry with that bunch! Keep in touch…Jacki
Comment by Jacki Hopwood August 24, 2010 @ 3:08 pmOh, Meredith! I am crying for you!! I cry every year at the end of school and then again at the beginning of a new school year. There is always a part of me that is happy to have them home for summer and then happy to see them go back to school. But there is a real sadness in seeing them moving on. Another year ends, another year begins and they are growing up. Next spring my youngest will leave elementary school and my middle guy will move to LT and my oldest will go to north campus…bittersweet times. Will you join me for a good cry in the fall of 2013?! xoxo
Comment by Anonymous August 24, 2010 @ 3:30 pmI didn’t mean to be “anonymous”!
Comment by abby wenstrup August 24, 2010 @ 3:32 pmNow that everyone is back in school, my house is really quiet. I can’t help but start to think of Morgan and how she is not coming home at 3:30 with the rest of my girls. I know she is very happy at school and very excited to start her adult life. I think this is harder for me then for her. Thank God for cell phones, texting, facebook, and skype. Everyone in the house is well connected to her!! Skype is great because you can talk to her and see her beautiful face!! I am glad I have sent my daughter off with all of this technology! It is my little security blanket! We are all blessed to have such great independent children. I know they will all do very well as adults! Now if I could just get rid of that lump in my throat!
Comment by Dana Stotz August 25, 2010 @ 7:51 amOur two college men are well into their second week at school, and they are so happy! We had the benefit of a Friday-through-Sunday orientation, which was jam-packed with meetings and activities, and so our good-bye was a long one. By Sunday afternoon, it was clear that we were no longer needed or wanted, and both Dan and Tom were each itching to be on their own, without Mom and Dad, and clearly avoiding one another on campus. Their joy and self-sufficiency (and Notre Dame’s wonderful orientation) made us feel better about leaving them on their own. The tears still came, but they were different tears than the ones that hit unexpectedly this summer when we panicked at the thought of “losing” two-thirds of our babies. Kevin and I agreed that we would just pretend that the boys were at scout camp for a few days until we adjusted. And then, on Monday morning, came the first blessed contact: a text reading “Could you send my ping-pong paddle?”
Comment by Nancy O'Brien September 1, 2010 @ 1:49 pmOne of my better moments in launching my youngest was a moment of vandalization! As I used the ladies room in her dorm on drop off day for freshman, I noticed all the scratches and scribbles on the bathroom stall door. I decided to add my own. I wrote down a message using a nickname that only she would recognize. I wrote, “2legit-DON’T QUIT!” love, mom. I resisted telling her that I did it. A week or so into her new school year as a freshman, she called with such joy to tell me how she gazed up one day and saw my mom graffiti. It was a very special phone call for me.
Comment by Sandra June 23, 2011 @ 2:41 pm